Sad Fish

In Asia, parts of central to Eastern Europe, and across Britain, Carp are both a food fish and a game fish. Here, in the U.S., we are just beginning to appreciate the carp for its fighting and sporting abilities. ~ View On Black ~ As for eating the damn things, well, that just ain't happenin' no time soon. Anyway, I was having a carp fishing contest along Lake Michigan in Chicago. The fishing was good with fish running 12 – 24 pounds (5.4 -10.8 kilo); not huge by any means, but respectable. Carp guys here are a special group; expensive equipment, tiny little hooks, specially prepared baits (Chef's Specials, I call 'em), and big soft nets so as not to hurt the fish upon landing it, and they release their fish with great care and reverence. Some even kiss the damn thing goodbye (a luck sort of thing hoping the fish will tell others we shall not kill and eat them). I love fish too, but this has a slightly over the top, psycho-sexual component I find, well, let's say, "interesting." There's a grad student's thesis in all of that, I think. A busload of Chinese tourists just happened upon us. They love carp in China; to eat, not to play around with. They gathered around one angler as he fought his fish, about a 15-pounder (6.8 kilo). There was excitement in the air, a great chatter of words, laughter and expressions. That was until they saw the one guy land his fish, weigh it, give it a mouth-to-carp-lips kiss and then release it back into the water That is when I thought a riot was about to breakout. One of the male tourists hurried over and said kindly, but with great dismay and insistence, "No, no, no! We will take fish, we take fish! No need to waste. We will take fish!" A conversation - of sorts – ensued in which the Polish American (with his thick Polish-accented English) was trying to explain that he would rather eat the Chinese Man's baby than let them ladle this fish over a bed of rice, and, we think, the Chinese tourist was trying to explain this was a horrendous waste of really good food and an insult to starving people in China (even they use that one, I guess). None of the rest of us quite knew what was being said – but we did know it was being said with charm and circumspection seriously lacking. Another fish was caught. Now the tourists were really agitated. What was to become of THIS carp? The Carp fishermen – a mix of Americans, British, Poles and Czechs - were getting their hackles up about anyone forcing them into harming THEIR carp. Well, I've never seen Chinese tourists this vocal about anything! Something was important here. So, as the organizer of the event, I stepped in. We weighed the carp so the angler could compete for his prizes, I waived the rule saying the fish must be released unharmed back into the water, and I then "highly suggested" the carp be given to the increasingly agitated groups of tourists around us. With great reluctance the fish was handed over. The angler's teeth were showing and the corners of his mouth were turned up, but I am loathe to categorize that expression as a smile. One of the male tourists grabbed the wet, slightly-slimy, 15 pound, 24 inch-long (.6 meter) fish like it was a baby, and with a death hug, held it against his freshly pressed and cleaned white shirt. A short and hasty retreat was made to the bus with all the passengers in tow. Many bows, smiles, and lots of – to our ears – the excited sing-song chatter of Chinese followed "fish-man." Many were facing us as they backed away – possibly forming a rear-guard phalanx in case we changed our minds and wanted our fish back. They waved as they drove off. Ah yes. Another international incident averted. Another amazing lesson learned about how differently differing cultures may view one particular thing. My thanks to Capt. Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise, for teaching me how to be flexible, compassionate, thoughtful and diplomatic in times of crises. As for the angler, well, his luck drove off with that bus and the fish he didn't get to kiss and release. He didn't catch another carp, and that one wasn't big enough to place win first, second or third place. But I gave him a nice consolation prize – which I now call "The World of Diplomacy Carp Fishing Award" and told him to shut up and stop complaining as I was sick of hearing his bitching about the whole thing. I don't think the words he said to me in Polish were, "Gee, thanks Bob, you're a really great guy." But, hey, life is tough sometimes.

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